A scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset are two contrasting ways of seeing the world, especially when it comes to resources, opportunities, success, relationships, money, time, and personal worth.
At a basic level:
- Scarcity mindset: “There is not enough for everyone, so I must compete, protect, or grab what I can.”
- Abundance mindset: “There is enough for everyone, so I can create, share, collaborate, and grow.”
These are not just positive or negative attitudes. They are deeply rooted mental frameworks that influence how people think, decide, relate to others, and pursue goals.
1. What Is a Scarcity Mindset?
A scarcity mindset is the belief that resources, opportunities, and success are limited. It often leads to the assumption that if someone else gets something, there is less left for you.
People with a scarcity mindset may believe things like:
- “There is only one good job, and I need to get it before someone else does.”
- “If I share my idea, someone will take credit for it.”
- “If I help someone else, I will have less time, energy, or money for myself.”
- “Success is a zero-sum game: if you win, I lose.”
- “I need to protect what I have because there is not enough to go around.”
This mindset is not simply about being poor or having little. A wealthy person can have a scarcity mindset, and a person with modest means can have an abundance mindset.
2. What Is an Abundance Mindset?
An abundance mindset is the belief that resources, opportunities, and success can be created, shared, and expanded. It does not mean pretending that everything is unlimited or that life is always easy. Rather, it reflects a more expansive view of possibility.
People with an abundance mindset may believe things like:
- “There are many paths to success.”
- “If I help others, I can create more value for myself and them.”
- “Sharing knowledge does not make me less valuable.”
- “Opportunities can be created, not just taken.”
- “My success does not require someone else’s failure.”
An abundance mindset is associated with openness, collaboration, creativity, generosity, and long-term thinking.
3. Core Difference: Competition vs. Creation
The main difference is this:
| Scarcity Mindset | Abundance Mindset |
|---|---|
| Focuses on what is missing | Focuses on what is possible |
| Sees life as a competition | Sees life as a collaboration |
| Fears loss | Embraces growth |
| Protects resources | Creates value |
| “I need to get ahead” | “I can move forward” |
| “If you win, I lose” | “We can both win” |
| Reactive | Proactive |
| Short-term survival | Long-term development |
A scarcity mindset often asks:
“How do I get what I need before it’s gone?”
An abundance mindset often asks:
“How can I create, contribute, and grow?”
4. Psychological Roots
Both mindsets are shaped by experience, environment, culture, and emotional conditioning.
A. Childhood and Family Environment
A person may develop a scarcity mindset if they grew up in an environment where:
- Money was constantly tight.
- Parents argued about finances.
- Love or approval felt conditional.
- Resources were limited or unpredictable.
- Success was tied to being “better than” others.
- Sharing was punished or led to loss.
For example, a child who learned that “there is never enough food” may grow up feeling anxious about money, even if they later become financially secure.
An abundance mindset may develop when a person experiences:
- Emotional safety.
- Encouragement to explore.
- Supportive relationships.
- Opportunities to learn and create.
- A sense that they are worthy regardless of performance.
- Models of generosity and collaboration.
B. Trauma and Survival Mode
A scarcity mindset can be a survival response. If a person experienced neglect, poverty, instability, or emotional deprivation, their brain may have learned to be vigilant, protective, and controlling.
In that context, scarcity thinking is not “weakness.” It is a protective strategy.
However, when that strategy continues into adulthood in a safer environment, it can become limiting.
C. Social and Cultural Conditioning
Society often reinforces scarcity thinking through messages such as:
- “Only the best can succeed.”
- “You have to be number one.”
- “Money is hard to get.”
- “Opportunities are rare.”
- “If you’re not careful, you’ll lose everything.”
These messages can make people feel that life is a limited pie.
5. How Scarcity Mindset Shows Up in Life
A scarcity mindset can appear in many areas.
A. Money
Someone with a scarcity mindset may:
- Avoid spending even when they can afford it.
- Hoard money.
- Feel anxious about bills.
- Believe wealth is only for “other people.”
- Avoid investing because they fear loss.
- Feel guilty about earning more.
- Make financial decisions from fear rather than strategy.
Example:
A person earns a good salary but still feels poor because they believe money is always going to run out.
B. Career and Success
In work, scarcity thinking may look like:
- Competing with coworkers instead of collaborating.
- Hiding ideas.
- Feeling threatened by others’ promotions.
- Believing there is only one “right” career path.
- Avoiding risk because failure feels dangerous.
- Comparing oneself constantly to others.
Example:
An employee sees a colleague get a promotion and thinks, “There is only one leadership position, and now I have less chance.”
An abundance-minded person might think, “Their growth shows what is possible. I can also develop my skills and create my own path.”
C. Relationships
In relationships, scarcity thinking can create:
- Jealousy.
- Control.
- Fear of abandonment.
- Possessiveness.
- Difficulty trusting.
- Needing constant reassurance.
- Believing love is limited.
Example:
A partner feels threatened when their significant other spends time with friends, believing, “If they love others, they will love me less.”
An abundance mindset would say, “Love is not a fixed amount. Their connection with others does not reduce their capacity to love me.”
D. Self-Worth
A scarcity mindset often ties self-worth to external achievement:
- “I am only valuable if I am successful.”
- “I must be better than others to matter.”
- “If I make a mistake, I am not enough.”
- “I need approval to feel worthy.”
This can lead to perfectionism, burnout, and chronic self-criticism.
An abundance mindset supports a more stable sense of worth:
- “I am worthy even when I am learning.”
- “My value is not determined by one outcome.”
- “I can grow without being perfect.”
- “I can be both strong and vulnerable.”
E. Creativity and Ideas
Scarcity thinking can make people afraid to share creative work because they fear:
- Being copied.
- Being judged.
- Losing control.
- Not being unique.
Abundance thinking encourages:
- Experimentation.
- Feedback.
- Collaboration.
- Iteration.
- Sharing work as a way to improve and connect.
6. How Abundance Mindset Shows Up in Life
An abundance mindset does not mean ignoring reality. It means approaching life with more flexibility, hope, and agency.
A. Money
An abundance-minded person may:
- Make financial decisions from clarity rather than fear.
- Invest in growth.
- Value money as a tool, not an identity.
- Be generous without losing boundaries.
- Focus on creating value.
- Understand that wealth can be built over time.
Example:
Instead of saying, “I can’t afford to learn this skill,” they may ask, “How can I invest in myself in a way that creates long-term value?”
B. Career
An abundance mindset in career may look like:
- Seeking mentorship.
- Collaborating with others.
- Viewing failure as feedback.
- Building multiple skills.
- Creating new opportunities.
- Celebrating others’ success.
Example:
A professional sees a competitor launch a similar product and thinks, “The market is growing. I can learn from this and improve my own offering.”
C. Relationships
In relationships, abundance thinking supports:
- Trust.
- Security.
- Healthy boundaries.
- Emotional generosity.
- Appreciation.
- Independence within connection.
Example:
A person feels secure enough to say, “I need some space,” without believing it means the relationship is ending.
D. Personal Growth
An abundance mindset supports growth because it allows a person to:
- Ask for help.
- Learn from others.
- Take risks.
- Reflect on mistakes.
- Stay open to change.
- Believe they can develop over time.
7. Scarcity vs. Abundance in Everyday Situations
Here are some common situations and how the two mindsets respond differently.
Situation 1: A Friend Gets a Promotion
Scarcity response:
“That means there is less opportunity for me. Why them and not me?”
Abundance response:
“That’s exciting. I’m glad for them. I can also work toward my own goals.”
Situation 2: You Have a Great Idea
Scarcity response:
“If I share it, someone might steal it. I should keep it secret.”
Abundance response:
“If I share it, I may get feedback, collaborators, or new ideas. My value is not reduced by sharing.”
Situation 3: You Have Limited Time
Scarcity response:
“I don’t have enough time. I have to do everything myself or I’ll fail.”
Abundance response:
“I need to prioritize. I can delegate, simplify, or ask for support.”
Situation 4: Someone Criticizes Your Work
Scarcity response:
“They are attacking me. I must defend myself or prove them wrong.”
Abundance response:
“Maybe there is something useful here. I can listen, reflect, and improve.”
Situation 5: You See Someone Living a Life You Want
Scarcity response:
“They have what I don’t. I’m behind.”
Abundance response:
“They show me what is possible. I can learn from their path and create my own.”
8. Important Nuance: Abundance Is Not Naïveté
A common misunderstanding is that an abundance mindset means believing everything will magically work out.
It does not.
An abundance mindset is not:
- Denying problems.
- Ignoring limits.
- Being overly optimistic.
- Avoiding responsibility.
- Believing everyone is good.
- Thinking money, love, or success are unlimited.
Instead, it is a more mature and flexible way of relating to reality.
A scarcity mindset says:
“The world is limited, so I must protect myself.”
An abundance mindset says:
“The world has limits, but I can still create, adapt, and grow.”
The difference is not denial versus realism. It is fear-based control versus value-based action.
9. Scarcity and Abundance Are Not Fixed Personalities
Most people have both mindsets.
A person may have an abundance mindset in one area and a scarcity mindset in another.
For example:
- Abundant in career, but scarce in relationships.
- Abundant in creativity, but scarce in money.
- Abundant with friends, but scarce with self-worth.
- Abundant in professional confidence, but scarce in emotional intimacy.
This is normal.
The goal is not to become “positive all the time.” The goal is to become more aware of which mindset is driving your thoughts and choices.
10. How Scarcity Mindset Forms
A scarcity mindset often develops through repeated experiences that teach a person the world is unsafe or insufficient.
Possible sources include:
- Growing up in poverty.
- Experiencing emotional neglect.
- Having unstable caregivers.
- Being compared to siblings or peers.
- Living in a competitive environment.
- Experiencing betrayal or loss.
- Being taught that love, money, or success must be earned.
- Repeatedly being told “no” without explanation.
- Learning that vulnerability leads to rejection.
These experiences can create internal beliefs such as:
- “I must be strong.”
- “I cannot rely on others.”
- “If I let my guard down, I will be hurt.”
- “There is not enough for me.”
- “I have to earn love.”
- “If I am not successful, I am not worthy.”
These beliefs may have protected the person in the past, but they can become restrictive later in life.
11. How Abundance Mindset Develops
An abundance mindset often develops through experiences of safety, support, and possibility.
It can be nurtured by:
- Secure relationships.
- Encouraging parents or mentors.
- Experiences of generosity.
- Learning from failure without shame.
- Being allowed to make mistakes.
- Feeling valued beyond performance.
- Exposure to diverse opportunities.
- Practicing gratitude.
- Developing self-awareness.
- Building confidence through small wins.
An abundance mindset is not just inherited. It can be cultivated.
12. The Emotional Experience of Each Mindset
Scarcity Mindset Emotions
A scarcity mindset is often associated with:
- Fear.
- Anxiety.
- Jealousy.
- Insecurity.
- Control.
- Resentment.
- Shame.
- Urgency.
- Defensiveness.
- Isolation.
The emotional tone is often:
“I must protect myself because there is not enough.”
Abundance Mindset Emotions
An abundance mindset is often associated with:
- Curiosity.
- Confidence.
- Gratitude.
- Openness.
- Generosity.
- Patience.
- Trust.
- Hope.
- Creativity.
- Calm.
The emotional tone is often:
“I can grow, create, and connect.”
13. Scarcity vs. Abundance in Decision-Making
Scarcity-Based Decisions
Decisions made from scarcity are often driven by:
- Fear of loss.
- Need for control.
- Short-term safety.
- Avoidance of risk.
- Comparison with others.
- Urgency.
Example:
A person turns down a job opportunity because it feels risky, even though it could lead to long-term growth.
Abundance-Based Decisions
Decisions made from abundance are often driven by:
- Values.
- Long-term vision.
- Curiosity.
- Growth.
- Contribution.
- Trust in one’s ability to adapt.
Example:
A person takes a challenging role because it aligns with their values and offers learning, even though it is uncertain.
14. Scarcity vs. Abundance in Communication
Scarcity Communication
A scarcity mindset can make communication defensive or controlling:
- “You never listen to me.”
- “You always take from me.”
- “If you loved me, you would know.”
- “I have to keep this to myself.”
- “You’re not good enough.”
- “I can’t trust you.”
The underlying message is often:
“I am not safe, so I must protect myself.”
Abundance Communication
An abundance mindset supports clearer, more secure communication:
- “I feel hurt when this happens.”
- “I need more support in this area.”
- “I’m open to hearing your perspective.”
- “I can share this with you because I trust you.”
- “I’m working on this, and I’d appreciate your help.”
- “I can be honest without attacking.”
The underlying message is often:
“I can be open because I believe connection is possible.”
15. Scarcity vs. Abundance in Leadership
Leaders can operate from either mindset.
Scarcity Leadership
A leader with a scarcity mindset may:
- Hoard information.
- Micromanage.
- Fear being replaced.
- Create competition among team members.
- Punish mistakes harshly.
- Avoid delegation.
- See employees as threats.
- Focus on control rather than growth.
This can create a culture of fear.
Abundance Leadership
A leader with an abundance mindset may:
- Share credit.
- Mentor others.
- Encourage collaboration.
- Treat mistakes as learning opportunities.
- Delegate with trust.
- Build systems that allow growth.
- See team members as assets, not threats.
This can create a culture of trust and innovation.
16. Scarcity vs. Abundance in Business
In business, these mindsets can shape strategy.
Scarcity Business Thinking
A scarcity mindset may lead to:
- Price wars.
- Fear of competitors.
- Over-promising to close deals.
- Cutting corners.
- Treating customers as transactions.
- Avoiding innovation because it feels risky.
- Believing market share is fixed.
Abundance Business Thinking
An abundance mindset may lead to:
- Creating new value.
- Building long-term customer relationships.
- Collaborating with competitors where possible.
- Investing in innovation.
- Focusing on customer success.
- Building brand trust.
- Seeing market growth as possible.
This does not mean ignoring competition. It means competing from strength rather than fear.
17. The Role of Comparison
Comparison is one of the strongest triggers for scarcity thinking.
When we compare ourselves to others, we often focus on what they have and what we lack.
A scarcity response to comparison:
“They have more than me. I’m falling behind.”
An abundance response to comparison:
“Their success is not my failure. I can learn from them and focus on my own path.”
Comparison is not always bad. It can be useful if it leads to learning. It becomes harmful when it creates shame, envy, or a belief that your worth is lower.
18. The Role of Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the simplest ways to shift from scarcity to abundance.
A scarcity mindset focuses on what is missing.
An abundance mindset can focus on what is present.
This does not mean ignoring problems. It means balancing awareness of lack with awareness of what is already available.
For example:
- Scarcity: “I don’t have enough money.”
- Abundance: “I have some money, and I can make choices to improve my financial situation.”
Gratitude helps the brain notice resources, options, and possibilities.
19. The Role of Generosity
Generosity is a powerful expression of abundance.
When a person gives from a place of scarcity, it may feel like loss:
- “If I give, I will have less.”
- “If I help, I will be taken advantage of.”
- “If I share, I will be exposed.”
When a person gives from a place of abundance, it feels like expansion:
- “Giving creates connection.”
- “Sharing strengthens relationships.”
- “Helping others reminds me of my own capacity.”
- “I can give without losing myself.”
Generosity does not mean giving without boundaries. Healthy abundance includes both generosity and self-respect.
20. The Role of Boundaries
A scarcity mindset can create two unhealthy patterns:
- Too much control: “I must protect everything.”
- Too much people-pleasing: “I must give to be loved.”
An abundance mindset supports healthy boundaries:
- “I can say no without abandoning myself.”
- “I can give without losing myself.”
- “I can ask for help without being weak.”
- “I can protect my energy while still being open.”
Boundaries are not scarcity. They are self-respect.
21. Scarcity and Abundance in Self-Talk
Internal dialogue is one of the clearest places where these mindsets appear.
Scarcity Self-Talk
Examples:
- “I’m not enough.”
- “I always mess things up.”
- “I don’t deserve this.”
- “I have to be perfect.”
- “If I fail, I’m a failure.”
- “I can’t trust anyone.”
- “There’s no way I can do this.”
Abundance Self-Talk
Examples:
- “I’m learning.”
- “I can handle this.”
- “I’m allowed to grow.”
- “I can ask for help.”
- “This is a challenge, not a verdict.”
- “I can make a mistake and still be worthy.”
- “I have resources I can use.”
The difference is not just “positive thinking.” It is a shift from fixed judgment to flexible growth.
22. How to Identify Your Own Mindset
Ask yourself these questions:
About Money
- Do I feel anxious even when I have enough?
- Do I avoid spending even when it would benefit me?
- Do I believe wealth is rare or hard to get?
- Do I feel guilty about earning more?
About Success
- Do I feel threatened when others succeed?
- Do I believe there is only one path to success?
- Do I avoid opportunities because they feel risky?
- Do I compare myself constantly?
About Relationships
- Do I fear that love is limited?
- Do I need constant reassurance?
- Do I struggle to trust?
- Do I feel that helping others means losing myself?
About Self-Worth
- Do I believe I must earn love?
- Do I tie my value to achievement?
- Do I feel shame when I make mistakes?
- Do I struggle to accept compliments?
If many of these feel familiar, you may be operating from a scarcity mindset in certain areas.
23. How to Shift From Scarcity to Abundance
Shifting mindsets is not about forcing positivity. It is about becoming aware, challenging old beliefs, and practicing new responses.
Here are practical steps.
Step 1: Notice the Inner Story
When you feel anxious, jealous, defensive, or fearful, ask:
- “What story am I telling myself?”
- “What am I afraid will happen?”
- “What belief is driving this feeling?”
Example:
If a coworker gets praised, you may think, “They are better than me.”
The deeper belief may be, “My worth depends on being recognized.”
Step 2: Separate Fact from Interpretation
Facts are observable. Interpretations are stories.
Fact:
“My friend got a promotion.”
Scarcity interpretation:
“There is less opportunity for me.”
Abundance interpretation:
“The company is growing, and I can also develop my skills.”
This does not mean the fact is wrong. It means you can choose a more useful interpretation.
Step 3: Challenge the “Limited Pie” Belief
Ask:
- “Is this resource truly limited?”
- “Am I assuming there is only one option?”
- “Could I create a new option?”
- “What would I do if I believed there was enough?”
For example, if you believe there is only one good relationship for you, ask:
“Could I build a healthy relationship with someone different from my ideal?”
Step 4: Practice Gratitude Without Denial
Gratitude does not require pretending everything is fine.
You can say:
- “This is hard, and I still have support.”
- “I am struggling, and I also have strengths.”
- “I don’t have enough right now, but I have options.”
- “I am not where I want to be, and I am still growing.”
This balances honesty with abundance.
Step 5: Take Small Abundance Actions
An abundance mindset is built through action.
Examples:
- Share an idea instead of hiding it.
- Ask for help.
- Celebrate someone else’s success.
- Invest in learning.
- Create something new.
- Give without keeping score.
- Set a boundary with self-respect.
- Choose collaboration over competition.
Small actions retrain the brain over time.
Step 6: Reduce Comparison
Comparison can be useful if it is informational, but harmful if it is identity-based.
Instead of:
“They have more than me.”
Try:
“What can I learn from their path?”
Or:
“What do I actually want for myself?”
Comparison becomes less powerful when you focus on your own values and progress.
Step 7: Build Security Within Yourself
An abundance mindset is easier when you feel internally secure.
Ways to build internal security:
- Practice self-compassion.
- Develop emotional regulation.
- Build routines that create stability.
- Surround yourself with supportive people.
- Work on self-worth.
- Learn to sit with uncertainty.
- Develop confidence through small achievements.
When you feel secure inside, the outside world feels less threatening.
Step 8: Work With a Therapist or Coach If Needed
If scarcity thinking is deeply rooted in trauma, attachment wounds, or chronic anxiety, professional support can be very helpful.
Therapy can help with:
- Attachment patterns.
- Core beliefs.
- Emotional regulation.
- Self-worth.
- Trauma responses.
- Relationship patterns.
- Identity and self-concept.
A scarcity mindset is not a moral failing. It is often a learned survival strategy.
24. Common Misconceptions
Misconception 1: “Abundance mindset means being rich.”
No. Abundance is a way of thinking, not a financial status.
Misconception 2: “Scarcity mindset means being negative.”
Not always. A scarcity mindset can be protective and realistic in some contexts. The issue is when it becomes rigid and limiting.
Misconception 3: “Abundance mindset means never feeling fear.”
No. People with abundance mindsets still feel fear. They just do not let fear make all the decisions.
Misconception 4: “If I have an abundance mindset, everything will work out.”
No. Abundance supports resilience, not guaranteed success.
Misconception 5: “Scarcity mindset is only about money.”
No. It can appear in love, career, creativity, health, time, and self-worth.
25. Scarcity and Abundance in Different Life Areas
Money
Scarcity:
“I can’t afford it.”
Abundance:
“How can I make this possible in a way that aligns with my values?”
Time
Scarcity:
“I don’t have enough time.”
Abundance:
“What can I prioritize, delegate, or let go of?”
Love
Scarcity:
“If they love someone else, they won’t love me.”
Abundance:
“Love is not a fixed amount. I can be secure and connected.”
Success
Scarcity:
“There is only one way to win.”
Abundance:
“There are many ways to grow and contribute.”
Creativity
Scarcity:
“My idea is not good enough.”
Abundance:
“My idea can improve through feedback and practice.”
Health
Scarcity:
“If I’m not perfect, I’m failing.”
Abundance:
“I can take care of myself consistently without being perfect.”
26. A Simple Framework: From Fear to Faith
A useful way to understand the shift is:
| Scarcity | Abundance |
|---|---|
| Fear-based | Faith-based |
| Control-based | Trust-based |
| Loss-focused | Growth-focused |
| Defensive | Open |
| “I must protect myself” | “I can grow and connect” |
| “There is not enough” | “There is enough to work with” |
| “I have to be perfect” | “I can keep learning” |
| “I am alone in this” | “I can ask for support” |
This is not about replacing fear with blind optimism. It is about moving from a place of survival to a place of development.
27. Practical Exercises
Exercise 1: The “Enough” Check-In
When you feel anxious, ask:
- What am I afraid is missing?
- What do I actually have right now?
- What is one small thing I can do to create more?
- What would I do if I believed there was enough?
Exercise 2: Reframe the Story
Take a scarcity thought and reframe it.
Example:
Scarcity:
“My coworker is better than me.”
Reframe:
“My coworker has strengths I can learn from. I also have strengths they may not have.”
Exercise 3: Practice Generous Action
Do one small act of generosity each day:
- Compliment someone sincerely.
- Share a useful resource.
- Help someone without expecting anything.
- Give your full attention in a conversation.
- Offer support to someone who is struggling.
This trains the brain to associate giving with expansion rather than loss.
Exercise 4: Gratitude Journaling
Write three things each day:
- One thing I am grateful for.
- One opportunity I see.
- One action I can take to grow.
This helps shift attention from lack to possibility.
Exercise 5: Identify Your Scarcity Triggers
Notice what triggers scarcity thinking:
- Money discussions.
- Other people’s success.
- Rejection.
- Uncertainty.
- Conflict.
- Being compared.
- Feeling unseen.
Once you know your triggers, you can respond more consciously.
28. A Deeper Psychological View
At a deeper level, scarcity and abundance are related to how a person experiences safety.
A scarcity mindset often comes from a place of perceived threat:
- “If I open up, I will be hurt.”
- “If I share, I will lose.”
- “If I fail, I will be rejected.”
- “If I am not enough, I will be abandoned.”
An abundance mindset comes from a place of felt safety:
- “I can be open.”
- “I can take risks.”
- “I can learn.”
- “I can connect.”
- “I can be imperfect and still worthy.”
This is why emotional safety is so important. A person can have material abundance but still feel scarce inside if they do not feel emotionally secure.
29. The Balance: Healthy Realism
The healthiest mindset is not pure abundance or pure scarcity. It is realistic abundance.
Realistic abundance means:
- Acknowledging limits.
- Taking responsibility.
- Making wise choices.
- Staying open to growth.
- Not denying pain.
- Not pretending everything is fine.
- Acting with hope and discipline.
For example:
- “I don’t have enough money right now, but I can make a plan.”
- “This relationship is difficult, but I can communicate and set boundaries.”
- “I am afraid of failure, but I can still try.”
- “There are real risks, but I can prepare and adapt.”
This is mature abundance.
30. Summary
A scarcity mindset is a fear-based way of seeing life as limited. It often leads to competition, control, protection, and anxiety. It can be a survival response to past experiences of lack, instability, or emotional insecurity.
An abundance mindset is a growth-based way of seeing life as expansive. It encourages collaboration, creativity, generosity, trust, and long-term development. It does not deny reality, but it approaches life with more possibility and agency.
The key difference is:
- Scarcity asks: “How do I protect myself from loss?”
- Abundance asks: “How can I create, grow, and connect?”
Most people have both. The goal is not to eliminate scarcity thinking completely, but to become aware of it and choose responses that align with growth, security, and well-being.